You know when I first sent her the second chapter I was just nervous now partly nervous and partly wish I would hear from her like right this second and not all the same time plus don't know if she has even got it yet. lol

So nervous finished and sent chapter 2 of my story for a friend to read she liked the first chapter hopefully the second chapter will be ok.

Writing a story is hard sometimes especially when you write something and ask yourself why would they do that why wouldn't they do something that seem to be easier frankly I know why I want them to so I can bring another possible character into the story but after I wrote what they were going to do I was like but why would they do it when other easier way are available. I am sure I will figure it all out so I can wrap-up chapter 2. 

Ever feel like nobody really wants you around at all until they need you to do something for them? I am feeling like that today more so then usual just having one of those days. Today it centers on my older brother and a friend of his. Basically, anytime he is around he basically make fun of me or uses me for some joke. He knows it bothers me and so does my brother but my brother just laughs along with him at my expense telling me later he is just kidding instead of actually being a big brother and sticking up for me and telling his friend that talking to me like that even in a joking manner is not OK in his house and to cut it out. But let he need me to do something for him or for him and actually doing it for his friend he acts all nice to get me to do it then after I have done it it’s back to the same old treatment. You know at times I feel like a throw away person the kind where people don't have anything better so they settle for you until something they really want then they throw you to the side till they have nothing better again.

Been reflecting on dreams I have had the last few nights. One had me talking about getting statues of a dragon and a phoenix. Last night I had a wand I called up and did spells with and have things happen. I am not sure what to think about it but felt I needed to make note of it so I could remember and examine it later.

Movie watching

You ever home alone and looking for a good movie to watch and you come across some good ones but you first thought is something like "oh that one is real good but I do want to watch it alone". I seem to be doing that a lot lately usually it is a movie that has some strong emotional parts that really get to me and I just don't feel up to dealing with it on my own with no one to talk to about it right then and there. I guess that is life. Me and a friend use to watch movies online together with me here in North Carolina and her there in Tennessee but we having done that in a long time.

Ever watch a movie or read a book that when it ends you feel like yelling at the top of your lungs "NOOOO You can Not end there That is a terrible place to stop". It is because you are so immersed into it that you feel a part of it that the characters or friends and when it ends you have to say goodbye knowing you will never hear from them again never know what happened after you last saw them.
I been dealing with it tonight watching some gay romance type movies to help get my creative juices going and help me write more on the book I am attempting to write.

Had some sad news today my friends little dog died but worst thing about it is one of her families other large dogs did the killing and she and her kid saw it happen. ... Not sure, what to say after that my heart goes out to them.

You know it is strange how you can start the day in a bad mood and end it feeling sad with a tear falling. I know there is nothing wrong with being single but I still at times wish prince charming would show up. I know your probably thing its sex he wants but no now don't get me wrong I do want it but it isn't the main thing for me it’s the little things like going to dinner, a movie, hanging out umm cuddle in front of a fire or tv or something just enjoying being in each other’s arms
I could go on and on but I better stop before yall really start thinking I'm some kind of loony lol

Ever wake from a dream where you where having an argument and you were pissed off then you wake up pissed off and in an all around bad mood. I did this morning.
I was dreaming about being on a trip with a group of people including my significant other(though I am single in my waking world at the moment) anyway I wake in the dream to them giving my morning stiff a good feel and getting up then leaving well when I get up I walk out of the room see they left the room early to go do something I close the door apparently a little loud I notice we have a roommate all the sudden who complains about the loud door shutting I go to the coffee pot I set to come on but when I pour it was not coffee and the sleeping roommate is up and she wants what I poured because she had tossed out the coffee grounds I had put in the night before. Which upset me and an argument starts then suddenly they had another person taking their side of it which gave me the feel of being ganged up on which increased my bad mood. So I wake up (for real) with a headache and in a bad mood so I go ahead, get up got to the kitchen, fix my coffee, go ahead, and start my day.